ukaine

Hey so I actually don't know where to start. I was trying to avoid this but all the hate is getting insane.
So as you may know "uki-toys" made a callout journal about me a while ago and ALOT of people read that huuge
journal explaining how much of a cunt I am because someone popular named zotiel supports all this.
To be honest I didn't even read the entire journal because when I only read a few sentences and I already knew it was zotiel because she is so good at pulling things around and playing the victim.

btw heres proof sta.sh/227thmscbi1z

 But let me tell you my side of the story.
So as you may noticed me and zotiel were good friends but we had a big fight over nothing actually.
I became friends with Susan again (darlinqq) and that basically ruined my and blackys friendship. I just felt like I need to apologise to her because I did wrong. We both did wrong. I really don't want to get in more details but I just wanted to finally clear things up. So I texted her via Instagram and I *apologised*. When I apologised to her me and blacky didn't talked aka she didn't replied to my messages (again) I was asking her if she's fine because she was venting alot in her snapchat story and stuff but as I said she ignored my messages. So why the fuck or HOW should I tell her that I became friends with darlinqq again. I planned to tell her in a call or sth or just text her when we're like normally talking but she apperantly didn't felt like talking to me. So after exactly 13 hours after me and Susan became friends again Blacky found out. Her "good friend" hacked susans account to basically stalk her and get information and they immediately told blacky about me and Susan. (I'm not going to mention their name because I do not want them to feel bad or get any hate.) After a few days I texted zotiel again because she was posting vents talking about "backstabbing" people and "fake" friends so I got worried and I told her that if she's talking about me she should tell me and stop making vents about certain people. After that she finally texted me back she was telling me that she found sth out about me and that she's disappointed in me. I tried to explain why I didn't tell her about my friendship with susan but she didn't understood. She became angrier and angrier and started yelling at me YES YELLING and her dumb journal is not releaving the fact that she hurt me incredibly much. She was saying rude things like " I would rather spend new years eve with anyone else but not with you. " I was sending her voice messages of me crying and telling her how much she hurt me but she was just laughing at me saying " how could I possibly hurt you so often melissa, I don't believe you. " I was trying to win her back but she send me a 30 second long voice message of her yelling "MELISSA GO JUST FUCKING GO ALREADY" and yep I was crying all night long and felt like dying for 2 weeks because guess what
She meant the world to me. But after these painful two weeks I finally talked with my closest real life friends about it and they told me to just forget about her "She's not worthave it" they said. And that's what I'm thinking now. I'm also really grateful for my online friends that helped me alot in this situation  (Susan, Danny, Jexi, Bea (not sleepytoys)) they cheered me up so much. I can't thank them enough. I realised how toxic blacky is and how good I felt after the break up.

Example: she hates people that gain more subscribers then her like rossali (she also hates kittydog because she's receiving no hate for having "simple art" ) , just think about that for one second. She gets pissed if her friends upload to much vents (even tho that's exactly what's blacky is doing) Her best friend bea was uploading vents and blacky was telling her how annoying she was. After that she ignored bea aswell even tho bea literally begged blacky to stay. Just some examples of blacky being a bitch so you realise she's also not that innocent as you thought
GUESS WHAT NO ONE IS


I'm also not innocent as you MAY kNOW
I made videos about darlinqq I was being really rude to her (BECAUSE OF A STUPID FIGHT)
I am "rage me" but I told her about it when we became friends again and she forgave me? I still don't know why but that just shows how much of a sweet and mature person she actually is,,

If you make mistakes you should also learn how to forgive people.

And here I am apologising

I am sorry for all the drama.
I'm sorry for doing mistakes.
I'm sorry if I was ever being rude to you or your friend.
I'm just sorry.

Isa:

I know I was being a bitch to you when you tried to calmly end our friendship, but I was just hurt and I was completely raging like a child I am sorry.
I was so upset about loosing my first Internet friend that I fucked up (BADLY) but let's be real you also made mistakes.
You also made jokes that hurt me alot. But that's okay I forgive you. We all make mistakes that's what we do to learn.
I really hope you can forgive me, I really didn't mean to be so rude to you,


Blacky (aka zotiel):

I am not apologising to you period
You don't accept the fact that you did wrong to.
You think everything you do is right because you're an """"adult"""" but guess what adults make mistakes too.

You made a journal about me showing my worst sides to get people on your side.
You want people to hate me. I'm not sure if you want me to kill myself or hurt myself badly.
But you do want to make me feel terrible. I hope you got what you wanted.
I hope your life is successful now.
Congratulations you ruined a reputation of a 15 year old girl on the Internet because of a fight that only two people were involved in.
Good job.

I burned your gifts to show you how much I you hurt me.
Starring at these things standing in my room just made me sick,
it made me think of all the good times we had and made me forget how much of a terrible person you are.
So I got rid of it. That's my explanation.



I don't know if I changed your mind about me but I hope you guys understand me a little better now.
You don't need to accept my apology but if you do, thank you, that means alot to me.





Please always remember

Everyone makes mistakes but you should also learn how to forgive if you want others to forgive your sins.

Thanks for reading


I hope this wont bring more drama,, i just tried to tell you my side of the story please dont harass anybody who was mentioned in this journal,,

(I posted this on my amino account aswell but since alot of people didn't see it I'm posting it here aswell)



Hey you may noticed that I've deactivated my deviantart account and privated all of my youtube videos,
Alot of you guys are actually worried about me I don't even kNow why because I suck

But let me explain why I deactivated

1. I feel very unhappy on social media right now everything I do there just doesn't feel right atm,, I am just tired of always trying to upload sth so my channel won't die. The most things I do are very VerY rushed and ugly ggHh because I really need to focus more on school,, the next 2 years are going to be very important for my future.
I am just not proud of my work anymore.

2. I don't feel happy and loved in my community anymore, sometimes when I upload I am just scared or nervous because I already know sOmeoNe is going to complain about sth or just straight up attack me and say very rude things,
(Btw I know that alot of people actually believe in me and love what I do and I am very grateful for that. ♡)

I know how to deal with haters
I know blah blah they're just stupid trolls but
Sometimes? It's just too much
I am a very weak person in general and I am very emotional. Sometimes  I get home after a very bad day and the first thing I see on my phone is someone wish me death or just other really terrible things
And I just feel even worse.

3. 2 of my closest friends left me behind for unknown reasons. I am not going to mention any names because I respect their privacy,
but they damaged my health alot lately.

I just need a break.
I cannot handle my big channel and deviant account atm. Sometimes my hobby is sucking the last drop of energy out of my body AND THAT IS NOT GOOD because a hobby should make you feel happy and not completely exhaust you.

Thanks for understanding

1. make a 1 minute long video complaining about how unfair the youtube community is.

2. blame a famous youtuber because their life is much easier than yours and they dont get ANY harassment AT ALL.

3. comment on your own video how poor and innocent you actually are.

4. When your victim (any kind of famous youtuber you chose) comments and explains their situation and tell you how to easily avoid harassment tell them that you dont care because your a small youtuber and you cant protect yourself beause you cant use this button that youtube EXACTLY created for those kind of comments (heres a example if you dont know how this button looks like)





(mobile version)



 entfernen= remove : )



5. When you realise how stupid and unnecessary your video is, delete it.


AND BAM THATS HOW YOU AVOID ANY KIND OF DRAMA, FIGHTS OR HARASSMENT




Youre welcome : )